And no one knows where the night is going…

i-need-you-love
Since November 8th, 2016 I feel as if I am in that whirlpool, but I am completely surrendered to the totality of the experience. To try to struggle against the immensity of this force would be useless. I’m just experiencing it moment to moment.

The election of a sexual predator as the President of the  United States, for me as a woman who has lived with a life time of verbal harassment, lewd gestures, exhibitionism, groping,  and rape is abhorrent. I was first raped when I was 3 years old. The last time I was sexually harassed I was 59 when two men stood at either end of the exit from a super market as I left the store. The first one said to me as I walked by him, just loud enough for only me to hear, “Tits” and the second one completed the sentence as I walked past him, “and ass.” There is no age at which a woman is safe in this country.

I have a few other problems with his character – his racism, his bigotry, his Islama-phobia. I am not reacting to his political program which seem about as clear as swamp water. It is his overt disregard for common human decency and respect that’s got me a whirl and the fact that his modeling of character has emboldened a tide of unacceptable behavior by others who hate.

I along with a lot of other people I know are in a state of experiencing that the center has not held.  Since the moment it was clear he would win, I have fallen into a vortex of energy, where there is no up or down, no left or right, just intense movement, intense energy. Darkness and light are in there. Anger, compassion, fear, resolve, despair, and activation of the sacred activist in me are in there.

It’s an intense immersion into an understanding of the groundlessness of reality. I tell you, it’s totally perfect non-dualist chaos and form co-arising.

Are you feeling it too?

I am, to paraphrase Swami Kripalu, “observing myself (and others) without judgement.” This is a big part my spiritual practice as a yogini, especially lately. It is about all I can do to work with my mind. That said, I am doing things. I’m engaging in the work of sacred activism, but that call for a separate post.

Then, Leonard Cohen passed away.

I must confess that last autumn, listening to his music and singing along as I mourned my sister’s death, that his music helped me make sense of it all and connect to the incredible joy of loving the world as it is with all it’s multitude of contradictions, it’s ugliness and beauty arising simultaneously.

And today his song, “The Guests” did that for me again today.

“The Guests”
— Leonard Cohen

One by one, the guests arrive
The guests are coming through 
The open-hearted many
The broken-hearted few
And no one knows where the night is going
And no one knows why the wine is flowing
Oh love I need you
I need you
I need you
I need you
Oh . . . I need you now 

And those who dance, begin to dance
Those who weep begin
And “Welcome, welcome” cries a voice
“Let all my guests come in.”

And no one knows where the night is going …

And all go stumbling through that house
in lonely secrecy
Saying “Do reveal yourself”
or “Why has thou forsaken me?”

And no one knows where the night is going …

All at once the torches flare
The inner door flies open
One by one they enter there
In every style of passion

And no one knows where the night is going …

And here they take their sweet repast
While house and grounds dissolve
And one by one the guests are cast
Beyond the garden wall

And no one knows where the night is going …

Those who dance, begin to dance
Those who weep begin
Those who earnestly are lost
Are lost and lost again

And no one knows where the night is going …

One by the guests arrive
The guests are coming through
The broken-hearted many
The open-hearted few

And no one knows where the night is going
And no one knows why the wine is flowing
Oh love I need you
I need you
I need you
I need you
Oh . . . I need you now

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